You’ve been rejected.
Yes, we all know rejection is a part of life, but it’s horrible. When you want something very badly, it can crush your ego and confidence.
Have you ever not received a job offer?
Have you ever been turned down for a date?
Have you ever pitched a client who didn’t hire you?
These and more have happened to me. I don’t think the initial feeling of rejection ever gets easier, but I have learned some actionable tips that can help you get over it faster so you can move on.
Do you want to hear what they are?
I recently used them because I pitched a big client and was rejected. A few weeks later they called me and said although they found value in my services they were going with someone else.
Immediately the negative voice in my head started talking.
Voice #1 in my head:
“Your pitch should have been a lot better. They were just being nice to you on the phone. It really wasn’t a hard decision for them to go with the other person.”
Pretty toxic right? Do you have a similar negative voice in your head? Do you let it keep talking or do you talk back to it?
ACTIONABLE TIPS FOR DEALING WITH NEGATIVE THOUGHTS FROM REJECTION
- Talk back to that voice immediately.
- Focus on what went well.
- Rebuff any negative assumptions with positive assumptions.
Voice #2 in my head:
“They said they liked me and the services I offered. I’m going to choose to believe them because I have no facts that contradict what they said. By pitching them, I was able to educate them about how I help companies struggling with culture and attracting and retaining top talent. I think if they hear about organization struggling with these things they will refer me in the future.”
WIN THE WAR IN YOUR HEAD
These voices will go back and forth in your head, but make sure your positive voice speaks for longer. You need to win the war going on in your head.
This may take practice, but it’s important. You want to diminish the negative voice by developing a stronger and louder positive voice that is full of hope and optimism.
The biggest mistake people make is dwelling on negative experiences for a long period of time. Reflection is useful, but beating yourself up about it is harmful. It’s harmful because it damages your ego, your confidence, and your desire to try again.
Instead, try the tips above so that after every rejection you face you still believe that you will find that yes!
COACHING QUESTIONS:
When something goes badly, are there negative statements you tend to repeat to yourself?
What types of statements can you begin saying to yourself to change the narrative in your head to be more positive?
