5 Appreciation Mistakes Leaders Don’t Realize They’re Making (and how to fix them)

You’re a great leader. You value your team, and you want them to feel appreciated. But what if—despite your best efforts—your appreciation isn’t landing the way you think it is?

The truth is, not all appreciation is created equal. Some well-intended gestures can fall flat (or even backfire) if they’re not done right. So before you hand out another generic “Great job, team!” email, check out these five common appreciation mistakes so you can avoid them like a pro.

1. The “One-Size-Fits-All” Appreciation
 Using the same method of appreciation for everyone

Not everyone feels valued in the same way. There are 5 Languages of Appreciation. Some love a public shoutout, while others would rather disappear into the floor than be called out in a meeting. Some appreciate gifts, while others want you to spend time with them or to help them out. 

Fix it: Learn your team’s appreciation preferences. Ask them, “If I wanted to show my appreciation for you in the future, what would be the best ways to do that?”

Better:
 “Hey Alex, I know you prefer one-on-one feedback, so I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your hard work on that project.”

2. The Generic ‘Great Job!’ Syndrome
 Giving vague or non-specific praise

Imagine you spend weeks on a big project, and your manager says, “Nice work.” That’s it. No mention of what you did well, no acknowledgment of your effort—just two words. It’s like getting a participation trophy for actually winning the game.

Fix it: Be specific! Highlight what they did and why it mattered.

Better:
 “Sarah, the way you handled that tough client call with patience and professionalism was impressive. You turned a challenging situation into a win for our team!”

3. The ‘Better Late Than Never’ Appreciation
 Waiting too long to recognize someone’s effort

Appreciation has an expiration date. If you thank someone for something they did weeks ago, it won’t have the same impact. It’s like telling your spouse, “Hey, you looked great at that wedding… three months ago.”

Fix it: Appreciate in the moment! Recognition is most powerful when it’s timely.

Better:
 “Mark, that presentation you gave today was fantastic. Your insights really helped clarify our next steps!”

4. The ‘You Should Just Know You’re Appreciated’ Trap
 Assuming people know you appreciate them, so you don’t say it

Many leaders think, They get a paycheck—that’s appreciation, right? Nope. Employees want to feel valued beyond just compensation. If you think they know, but you never say it, they probably don’t.

Fix it: Verbalize appreciation regularly. Even a simple “I appreciate you” can go a long way.

Better:
 “Hey team, I know I don’t say this enough, but I truly appreciate all the hard work you put in every day. You make this a great place to work.”

5. The ‘Go Big or Go Home’ Mistake
 Thinking appreciation has to be extravagant

A huge party, expensive gifts, or grand gestures are nice—but they’re not necessary. Research shows that small, consistent acts of appreciation mean more than a once-a-year over-the-top gesture.

Fix it: Focus on meaningful, everyday moments of appreciation.

Better:
 A quick Slack message: “Thanks for your help on that report, Chris. I couldn’t have done it without your expertise!”
 A handwritten note left on their desk.
 A spontaneous “Take a long lunch!” break for a job well done. 

Unlock the Full Potential of Your Team—One Appreciation at a Time
Appreciation isn’t just about doing it—it’s about doing it well. Avoid these common mistakes, and you’ll build a culture where people feel truly valued, engaged, and motivated.